Mid-life Women Often Wonder What They've Missed While Raising Kids and Being a Dedicated Wife and Mom
Mid-Life Women Often Wonder What They've Missed While Raising Kids and Being A Dedicated Wife and Mom
Playing house is a favorite game for many little girls. They pretend to be their mothers making dinner in the kitchen and imagine that they will marry a prince one day, like Cinderella. For hundreds of years, becoming a wife and mom was the natural course of life for most women around the world. There was no alternative. As the world progressed toward gender equality, however, little girls began to dream of one-day becoming doctors, singers, bus drivers, and detectives. Some of these girls grow up and become women who can balance being a wife and mother at home and a career woman at work. Some figure that marriage and motherhood are not for them and dedicate their lives to other passions. Others choose to devote their entire lives as dedicated wives and mothers. There is no wrong choice, and each woman must go down the path that is right for them. Being a stay-at-home wife and mother requires a lot of hard work and sacrifice. It is a 24/7 job with no paycheck.
All of that is worth it. Being able to watch one’s kids grow up and not missing a moment is priceless. Being able to support one’s husband and serving as the backbone of the family is a role that is irreplaceable. There is the fairytale of getting married at 17 to the high school sweetheart and spending happy days growing a family. Thirty years later, the kids are grown up and off to college. The husband is just as loving and charming as ever. Menopause hits and the desire to peek over at the other side of the fence sneaks in. What if I had not married at 17, one wonders. Perhaps one would be leading an important meeting in a tech company downtown rather than watering the tomato plants in the yard. Maybe being a surgeon would have been immensely satisfying. Now that the kids are off to college, it would be natural to focus more on work. One thinks about how much potential the teachers saw in high school, the top grades and the eloquent writing. Anything was possible.
Being a dedicated mother and wife meant that one’s social circle consisted of the husband’s colleagues, attending company barbecues and talking about each other’s kids. When the kids were in preschool, many friends were made in the playground. There were the parents that became close friends bringing their kids to karate classes for all five years of elementary school. There were the friends made with the parents of the girls in the daughter’s cheerleading team. But what if one had chosen to pursue a career instead of becoming a dedicated wife and mother after getting married at 17? What if one climbed the corporate ladder and did not get married until 34? How would life be different? Who would one’s friends be? As one hits middle age, sometimes it feels too late to explore that path. All that is left to do is a wonder. But when one thinks about being there for dear daughter’s first steps, attending every single one of precious son’s basketball games, and keeping the husband well-fed at all times, one becomes overjoyed with emotion reminiscing these priceless moments. It’s hard to know how to feel sometimes, but when the wife and mother realize that she chose love, then the career that could have been becoming a passing thought.